


The Pains and Pleasures of Regeneration

by MsMcMageMuffin



Category: The Missing: J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Drama, F/F, Fluff, Healing, Post-Canon, Recovery, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Spoilers, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:35:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25724479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMcMageMuffin/pseuds/MsMcMageMuffin
Summary: A slow burn, slice of life style fic set immediately after the events of the game. Will primarily focus on the lives of J.J. and Emily and the effect the game's events had on them.It's been a long time since I last wrote anything, but this beautiful game deserves it. Please keep that in mind, assuming people bother to read this.
Relationships: Jackie Jameson "J.J." Macfield/Emily Thompson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	The Pains and Pleasures of Regeneration

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this story. I intend to write for it as long as it inspires me,
> 
> That being said, it's been a *long* time and my writing is rusty at best. Very rusty. Please keep that in mind as you read.

BE-beep! BE-beep! BE-beep!

All J.J. could hear was that shrill, steady beeping. It kept the rhythm perfectly, the obnoxious metronome that it was.

Then the ringing set in. Nothing loud or overbearing like the beeping. It was soft. Shrill. Omnipresent. Suffocating.

J.J. felt her chest heave as she took in a deep breath through her nostrils.

Sweet coffee and buttery pastries immediately flashed in her mind, followed by the soft features she'd recognize anywhere: Emily.

She pried her eyes open, despite the 20lb weights on each eyelash.

The fluorescent lights were excruciating for at least a full minute through her slanted eyes that refused to shut.

"E-Emily...?" she rasped, her voice deep and cracking.

Dysphoria rose bitterly in her throat like bile.

Already she ached for her voice from the dream back. Her self-image would probably be the only thing she missed from that damned nightmare, though.

The screech of chair legs against the floor shattered the still air for only a fraction of a second before J.J. felt a warmth that draped over her like a weighted blanket.

"J.J.!? Oh thank God you're awake again!"

As J.J. slowly bested her leaden eyelids, an angel came into focus. Her angel.

Emily's beautiful, peachy face was marred by the worry lines knitting her eyebrows together and her full, pale red lips pouted outwards, slightly bloated by her obvious worrying on them.

J.J. gazed into tear-filled eyes that warbled as a stormy grey instead of their usual defiant aquamarine.

Emily's mouth moved tirelessly as she gushed and rambled, but J.J. couldn't hear a thing for a moment.

Even disheveled like she was, her childhood best friend (and admittedly mutual crush) was absolutely radiant and J.J. was completely stunned by her.

"-I mean, the paramedic said you'd probably just need to rest a little while after everything. After all, you'd lost a lot of blood and even with several transfusions, you'd still be weak and sleepy but you'd be fine, but even with all that I was worried sick J.J. I just-"

As Emily continued to finally express the dread and concern that had been crushing her for who knows how long, J.J. began to shift her arm to comfort Emily but was instead greeted by a searing bolt of heat that shot up from her wrist.

J.J. craned her head over to see and immediately remembered everything.

Of course. How could I even hope to forget about this?

A tight cloth was firmly wrapped around her right wrist. A quick mental inventory revealed this to be true for her left wrist as well.

Now that she was staring at it, she could feel every sensation that radiated from there.

She grimaced from the pain and Emily immediately shot up, apologizing profusely

"Shit, J.J., I'm so sorry! I was just so happy to see you awake again, I didn't even think- Here, let me get the nurse. They let me stay with you until you woke up as long as I promised I'd get them when you did" Emily sputtered as she reached for the controls to J.J.'s bed.

J.J. couldn't help but smile at how considerate Emily had always been.

"Em-" J.J. smothered that voice with a cough. She couldn't stand to hear it. Not now. Not after she'd come so far.

Emily rushed over with a glass of water, tilting it so she could drink while slowly stroking the back of her head.

"Here you go, J.J.. Good girl. Even with that IV drip you must still be dehydrated."

The water stung a little at first, but before long it felt cool and soothing, exactly like the woman holding the glass and stroking her hair.

Damn, that feels good. Please don't stop, Emily.

She took a deep breath in, then imagined her voice coming out through the tip of her nose, just like that article on vocal training had said.

"Emily,"

Better, but it could still use some work.

"Thank you for being here with me..... How long was I out?" J.J. enquired, practicing her new voice.

"About an hour, give or take. Enough time for me to have an order of your favorite donuts delivered with some of my coffee." Emily moved aside to gesture to the familiar box sitting patiently on the bedside table, a mischievous tongue-out-and-wink combo illuminating her face.

"Sadly, Sleepy's doesn't make your hot milk, though."

The girls chuckled together for a moment before the sound of the door swinging open burst their private little bubble.

A brunette in her late 20's poked her head through the doorframe

"Ms. Macfield? Do you mind if I come in?"

J.J. and Emily looked sadly at one another for a moment, before Emily sighed and separated from J.J. back to her chair.

No, don’t go just yet! Please!

J.J. sighed despondently.

“Sure, come on in.” she pouted and waved the woman in.

The nurse nodded, opened the door, and walked in.

“How did you know to call me ‘Ms.’?” J.J. enquired, skepticism painting her eyes a steel grey. 

Had the news and those cutting rumors already spread outside the college?

The nurse chuckled for a moment before glancing over at Emily, a smirk like a winging tactician's triumphantly displayed.

“Well, Ms. Thompson here is very strong-willed. You should have seen the way she barged up to my nurse’s station, demanding to speak to me before you woke up. Something about how your doctor was going to treat you as a woman or not at all.”

Doctor!?

“You seem surprised. Did Ms. Thompson not tell you I’d be your doctor like she didn’t tell you you’re expressly forbidden from those donuts for the time being?”

J.J.’s head snapped instantaneously to a guilt-struck Emily.

“Forbidden?! Why would you tease me like this, Em?” J.J. unleashed her best hurt pouting, forcing Emily to avert her gaze.

“Surely you didn’t think you’d be able to eat whatever you’d like after that much blood loss, transfusions be damned. Oh, no, you need protein, iron, countless vitamins, and electrolytes. Not to mention plenty of water, too.” the young doctor nodded to herself, as if satisfied with her statements.

Christ, she sounds like Mom in a way. Less blatantly transphobic, but the same overbearing concern.

“I’ll have a nurse bring you some Salisbury steak and a plate of vegetables in a few minutes, okay?”

The doctor turned and had her hand on the doorknob when J.J. called out to her.

“Wait!” she shouted, her voice deeper with the rush to get the doctor’s attention. She could only grimace hearing it again.

Damn, that’ll take some getting used to.

The doctor craned her neck to look over her shoulder, sending J.J. and unspoken invitation to continue.

“Would you be able to get something like a salad or something instead? If it needs protein, maybe with almonds or some other kind of nuts with it? Please?”

The doctor’s eyebrow raised a little in surprise. 

“Some kind of diet? This isn’t some kind of weight loss technique or eating disorder is it?”

J.J. gave a few short shakes of the head.

“No, I just can’t do meat. Not vegan, just can’t do meat.”

The doctor contemplated this silently, then shrugged after a moment.

“Very well, I’ll have it be a healthy salad and some grilled vegetables instead”

And, just like that, as quickly as she had come, she left.

They sat in stunned silence for a moment, before J.J.'s rumbling stomach shattered the respite.

Emily's composure shattered with her stifled giggling that quickly evolved into hearty, happy laughter. Though J.J. blushed brightly at her stomach's betrayal, it wasn't long before she was laughing along with the woman that saved her life.

The woman who loved her.

The woman she loved.

As their laughter died down to girlish giggling, their eyes locked and a soft, comforting smile spread across Emily’s face. J.J. could feel her own face shifting to mirror that expression of bliss.

“Did you really barge up to my doctor and demand she treat me as a woman? Did you really do that for me?”

For a moment, Emily tensed up like a coiled spring, blush running rampant across her face, but after a moment to regain her composure and release her sudden tension, she met J.J.’s gaze with unyielding sincerity

“Of course I did, J.J. I would move the heavens for you. Especially after today. No one will ever treat you like you’re not the woman we both know you are as long as I’m around. I’ll never let it happen again!”

Though her eyes were filled to the brim with tears, the determination radiating from them was unshakeable.

J.J. was completely floored by Emily’s devotion to her. A devotion not born of obligation, but love and trust.

She wrapped Emily up in her arms, ignoring the discomfort pulsing from her wrists and sobbed gently into Emily’s shoulder.

“God, Emily, what did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I ask myself the same thing about you, y’know. So please, don’t ever do something like what happened today again. I couldn’t take it, J.J…. I’d- I’d”

“Shhhhhh” J.J. soothed her. Emily had given her everything.

Maybe it’s time I finally told her that, then. I’ve always relied on her, but I’m not sure if she knows how much she means to me, especially after my… After today.

“You know, Emily, you’re the only reason I made it out from that nightmare.”

She scoffed at that, her face firmly buried in J.J.’s shoulder  
“It’s not like I was the paramedic that saved you or anything, J.J.. Hell, even F.K. did more than I possibly could’ve.”

J.J. looked up, a solemn smile quirking its way across her face.

“Neither F.K. or the paramedic were the one guiding me, giving me a reason to keep on going, Em. You were. You’ve always been there for me, no matter what. You mean everything to me, Emily. Even on Death’s doorstep, all I could think about was you.

“You’ve always given me the strength to keep going. I just wish I had realized it sooner. I just lost sight of that after I got outed and the bullying and-” she shuddered, like the specter of that “therapist” was looming over her “mom’s intervention.”

“Intervention?” Emily’s voice dripped with poison “What the hell did she do to you, J.J.?”

“She… made me go see a therapist. He spent the whole session telling me that my feelings- no, who I am was a disgusting, shameful perversion. A sin against God and everything He stood for. That I deserved every conceivable punishment for even thinking like that, especially if I wouldn’t try to go back to “normal”.“

Emily let out a dark, humorless laugh at the revelation.

“I can’t fucking believe it. Actually, no, I can believe it and I think that pisses me off more. Everything makes so much sense now! Especially the last few days. God, I feel like such a complete ass for not seeing it sooner!"

J.J. pulled her close again, rubbing a soothing circle on her upper back.

"Hey! Hey hey hey, Emily, it's okay. I never told you anything. I just…. felt so broken and monstrous since then that I couldn’t be around people. I felt like I’d hurt them by just being there.”

“Oh, J.J. baby girl, I’m so much better because you decided to be in my life. You trusting me with your true self helped me come to terms with who I am too, y’know. Remember the clock tower?”

J.J. snapped her eyes shut and for that instant, she was overwhelmed by the countless emotions that crashed into her. Flashes of her beautiful moment of solace with Emily from reality warred with the twisted version of that blissful time that tormented her during her suicide attempt.

“Of course I do, Emily. Even in that godawful nightmare, the clock tower means so much to me. I remember you telling me how those homophobic sermons always made you feel so alienated too. I remember you telling me how you loved me no matter what, whether it was as the J.J. you knew then or as the woman I am now. I remember how you told me that just because I’m trans doesn’t make me any less deserving of love. Do you remember what I told you?”

Emily nodded, still nestled in J.J.’s shoulder

“You told me that just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I’m any less deserving of love, either.”

“And I meant it too, Em.”

They stayed like that, nuzzled up for a moment before Emily chuckled to herself

“We really need to see an actual therapist, huh?”

J.J. leaned back sharply, wide-eyed with shock

“Wh-what!?”

Emily’s smile immediately crashed into a remorseful frown

“Oh God, no, J.J., not like that bastard your mom sent you to! No, no, no! I mean like an actual, certified therapist. We can go together and see how they are before we agree to keep seeing them.”

“Do we have to talk about therapy now? So soon after everything?”

“J.J., we’re honestly pretty fucked up. Today helped me realize a lot of things, and one of them was that we need all the help we can get. Besides, work or school probably won’t let us anywhere near coming back before we do, so I’ll be damned if we don’t get some kind of say in it.”

J.J. sighed wistfully, a wordless concession.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. But whatever happens, whatever we decide, I want it to be by your side, Emily.”

“It’s a promise!”

J.J. chuckled

“We make an awful lot of those, huh?

Emily smiled through the tears that were freely streaming down her cheeks.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, J.J.”

**Author's Note:**

> I intended for there to be bold and italicized text but I'm not sure how to do it, especially on mobile. If any readers could explain how, I'd greatly appreciate it sinceit dramatically impacts the emphasis on certain lines and overall comprehension.
> 
> It's entirely possible I'll edit any chapters I put up as I write more and my ability comes back. Please don't be too surprised if the chapters change a bit, maybe even dramatically (but hopefully for the better).


End file.
